Nightmares

I’ve mentioned before that I have nightmares, but we’ve never really talked about it here. Let’s do that.

First is the difference between night terrors and nightmares. They’re different things, and while I don’t like them, I am glad I have nightmares more often than night terrors.

Night terrors, I get stuck in. Nightmares I can pull out of. It just usually shatters my sleep for a few hours.

Why am I bringing this up?

Because we all have nightmares.

And we can all learn from them.

A long time ago I started documenting my dreams in a journal. After doing that for about six months I compared those to the things I’d write in my regular journal and then my prayer journal.

I found that my nightmares were worse when there was an extra amount of stress or pressure in my life.

This could come from everyday life or the past coming up and slapping us in the face like it does.

Damn, I hate it when that happens.

As I was doing this self-imposed analysis of my dreams, I came to the understanding that I couldn’t let those things that were causing the nightmares control me.

That’s what the stresses and pressures in our life like to do, isn’t it?

To control us instead of us having control over them.

I tried a lot of different things before coming to these realizations.

Drinking, sleeping pills, nonstop caffeine so I wouldn’t sleep. You name it, and I probably did it.

Except for illegal drugs. That didn’t happen. I’d seen too many people lose their lives from that, and I wasn’t going down that road.

The other thing that helps, and probably helps most, is praying.

Out of the 2 weeks we’ve been at a cabin in the mountains, I’ve gotten out of bed every night except for maybe 4 to deal with these things.

The last few nights have gotten bad with my rolling around and thrashing in bed.

But each night, like right now, I wake up, step outside, and pray. I do this probably 3 times.

I know not everyone that reads this believes as I do. I can hope and pray that that changes, and maybe I can have a small part in it, but I know that’s not up to me.

I digress.

Speaking about what is going on and asking for help is one of the ways I get through this.

I talk to God, but I also know I have family, and friends I can talk to about this if I need to.

It’s okay to need help and to ask for it. It’s healthy, actually.

No matter how alone we may feel, we need to know that we aren’t alone.

We all have stuff. No one is immune to the challenges of life. But I will say that those of us who battle depression, PTSD, and traumatic pasts have it a bit different.

It’s like each of those things we are working through come and adds weight to an already messed up and stressful existence.

It can be hard. But that’s okay too.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, good things come from hard times if you allow it.

There is a point to all of this. Don’t let those things that haunt us in our dreams control us when we wake.

Recognize, analyze, and work through what may be causing it and return to life.

We have to come face to face with the things that cause us so much hardship.

Until we do, we’re stuck living in nightmares. Reach out to get through that, don’t sit in the darkness of it all.

God meant for our lives to be much more than that.

I’m off to bed again. Rest well all.